Thursday, August 20, 2009

How to Fix a Relationship: 4 Questions You Have to Ask

By Paul Lindquist

Learning how to fix a relationship that is broken requires asking some difficult questions. However, even when you are in an ideal state of mind, knowing the correct questions to ask to fix a relationship can be tough.

One of the challenges is that even if the person really wants to find out how to fix a relationship, he/she may shy away from confronting these tough questions because it's just easier to go along with life under the pretense that nothing is really wrong with the relationship.

Deciding to avoid confronting the problems with your relationship will not cause them to go away. The first thing you need to know about how to fix a relationship is that it takes work! I'll be bold here-if you fail to confront a serious problem in your relationship after you have learned about it, you are not acting responsibly.

So, when you are trying to figure out how to fix a relationship, here are the 4 questions you must ask:

1. What do you want to get out of the relationship?

It is critical that you and your partner ask this question sometime in the initial stages of the relationship. It is critical because if you don't know what your partner expects from the relationship, how do you know if you will be compatible together?

2. When during our relationship were we the happiest together?

The next question toward learning how to fix a relationship will help determine how each party looks at the relationship. If you each have a different idea of which point in the relationship you were happiest together, then it is likely that this might be when things started to go south.

3. What areas of the relationship are you dissatisfied with?

Question three for how to fix a relationship is one that you need to answer with a gentle spirit. This means you don't want to make this into a blame session or let yourself become too emotional. All you're trying to do here is figure out where each of you stands, and answering this question will help determine that.

4. Which direction is the relationship going?

This last question in determining how to fix a relationship is to find out from each of you where you think the relationship is heading. Answering this question will help you to know what kind of shape you are really in as a couple. If you or your partner think the relationship is in serious jeopardy, you need to have this knowledge so you can fix what's wrong.

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